GUYS IF THIS IS TRUE THEN THE END IS ALREADY HERE ONLY THAT OUR SINS HAVE COVERED OUR EYES AND WE CANT SEE................!
So shocking truly the end is near
BE AWARE THE END IS NEAR !!!!!
Talk-show host Oprah Winfrey today celebrated the opening of her first church and the founding of her new religion, titled O, The Oprah Religion. The multi-tasking Oprah will serve as pontiff and deity for both.
Description:
http://westerngh.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/opra.jpgExpanding on Her enormously successful enterprises in television, film, the web, and Her magazine, Oprah Winfrey brings Her positive, motivational spirit to one of the most highly anticipated new religions since Scientology, explained spokesperson and new Archbishop for the church, Gayle King, in a press conference in Chicago today.
O, The Oprah Religion gives confident, smart women the tools they need to explore and reach for their dreams, to express their individual style, and to make choices that will lead to a happier and more fulfilling afterlife.
In addition, weve eliminated the regressive prohibitions such as those against shrimp, clothing made of mixed fibers, and premarital sex that older, outmoded religions still cling to, but which no longer fit in with the lifestyles of their congregations. In fact, Oprah loves to share a shrimp cocktail with her live-in life partner while wearing stretch-wool slacks! Now, with O, The Oprah Religion, you can do the same, and without the threat of everlasting damnation!
King went on, O, The Oprah Religion, has all the comforts of a traditional belief system, but combined with the uplifting spirit of Oprah, so that anyone from a religious background will still feel at home when they convert the new traditions of O, The Oprah Religion.
For example, instead of a spring fertility festival like Easter or Passover, with O, The Oprah Religion, youll celebrate the abundance of Oprah with Her spring holiday Oprahs Favorite Things, which is observed during the second week of spring sweeps. During this holiday, believers smear the blood of a freshly slaughtered lamb on their television, and in the middle of the day the Holy Spirit of Oprah visits all supplicants and showers them with cashmere pajamas, gourmet chocolates, and Gladware
It doesnt stop there! added Archbishop King. The Catholic tradition of confession has been incorporated into O, The Oprah Religion, but with a twist: confession occurs just once per lifetime, is syndicated nationally, and is officiated over by Oprah herself. Since Oprah serves as both pontiff and God in human form, penance is unnecessary, forgiveness is guaranteed, and its all done without the use of an intercessor! Verily I say unto thee: O, The Oprah Religion empowers all women with the tools for their own salvation! Praise be!
Though Winfrey herself officiated over the opening ceremonies for the First Church Of Oprah, Savior, located on Chicago s Magnificent Mile, O, The Oprah Religion does not require or even encourage Church attendance. Instead, believers are urged to stay home and watch services on their televisions. Regular broadcasts will be held every weekday at 11am. An additional service is planned for the most devout, to be called Oprah, After The Service.
Following her introductory remarks, Archbishop King spread her hands to the heavens, and Oprah herself appeared in the sky overhead, swathed in blindingly white robes and a pair of black leather knee-high boots with stiletto heels. Before Her, a mixed crowd of pre- and post-menopausal women shrieked in excitement, weeping openly at the heavenly vision. Several attendees were so overcome that they collapsed in pools of their own urine.
The information contained in this email is confidential and may contain proprietary information. It is meant solely for the intended recipient. Access to this email by anyone else is unauthorised. If you are not the intended recipient, any disclosure, copying, distribution or any action taken or omitted in reliance on this, is prohibited and may be unlawful. No liability or responsibility is accepted if information or data is, for whatever reason corrupted or does not reach its intended recipient. No warranty is given that this email is free of viruses. The views expressed in this email are, unless otherwise stated, those of the author and not those of First Merchant Bank Limited or its management. First Merchant Bank Limited reserves the right to monitor, intercept and block emails addressed to its users or take any other action in accordance with its email use policy.
